samu't saring halu-halo

lab slave

for the first time in my graduate school career -- if you can call it that, i am not teaching any discussion or lab classes. i guess i can finally direct all my sweat and tears into trying to generate some breakthrough in my research. on the other hand, if you've been rewarded partly because of not-so-stellar teaching evaluations, that lessens the appeal of not having to deal with brats, hopefully for the rest of your stay in graduate school. now, don't misunderstand me, i love to teach. it just takes up too much freakin' time from doing what you really needed to do so you can finish your degree, especially with grading exams and dealing with not-so-smart brats who complain too much -- believe me, there's more of them than the smart ones. regarding the consistently crappy evaluations, i will not admit that i'm a crappy TA. i know i'm doing okay, if not excellently, since i've received positive comments from my students, assuming they're telling the truth and not so i could give them a better grade. unfortunately, these don't get noticed in our semestral evaluations. rather, i would like to attribute these evaluations to a combination of trying to teach a course that everyone hates, a schedule that doesn't work with my bioclock and consistently getting a set of whiny brats. otherwise, let's just say i'm not a friendly face to people 10+ years my junior. it's not my fault i look like them or probably younger!

a (not quite) close encounter

there was a collision of two trains today which resulted to seven deaths and several people injured. if it were not for my last-minute decision to postpone getting my new passport -- yes, they finally approved my renewal no thanks to that menopausal b*tch at the embassy (sorry, i can't help it...), there is a fair chance that i might witness it firsthand, given the time and place it happened. sometimes, being deliberately forgetful, coupled with sloth-like response to situations, could save your life. 

in a way, i am glad my mom gave me that tiny sto. niño de cebu statue. she always believes the little child is my protector.

choose your own misery

i would like to take this opportunity to vent out my current frustrations, given that i'm most likely experiencing PMS-related symptoms. so, here are the choices:

1 stick to your un-monotonous job, finish grad school in your home country with decent funding from a prestigious scholarship to finish your research within five years (ideally), then spend the next ten years realizing why the heck did you even accept that scholarship while wasting your days away working in a premier university located in the middle of nowhere since you can't easily leave the country to look for another job, whereas your former colleagues have moved on and sought jobs with better pay elsewhere, most likely in another country. there's also that possibility you might loose your current un-monotonous job since it is not a permanent one.

2 take some grad school courses with the aforementioned prestigious scholarship funding your research while keeping the un-monotonous job, then terminate both employment and scholarship to finish grad school abroad, only to realize too late the funding required to finish graduate research is quite limited due to present economic situation of the country where you're doing said graduate research. to make things more interesting, your application to renew your passport is withheld due to some undisclosed and possibly shady reasons. the people in the consular office advise you to clear your name from this agency in your home country before they can process your application. on the other hand, the people from this agency tell you they can't give you clearance unless the consular office sends them your passport renewal application since you are under the consul's jurisdiction. and the cycle goes on. this time, you're stuck in another country unless you want to risk everything you've done so far to go back home and fix this minor issue. there's also that grave possibility you may not finish grad school because of this minor mishap and you're back to square one.

*after sleeping this off for a few hours...*

isn't there a better option?

lab troubles

in my limited experience working in chemistry labs, i, rather the people working in that particular lab at the time, have managed to get ourselves in big trouble at some point..

case 1: the great flood. i still don't know for the life of me how this happened but here's the story..we were doing our usual work one typical friday afternoon like making buffers and checking on our algal babies before we take it easy on the upcoming weekend. the following monday, our thesis advisor called for an emergency meeting with everyone working in the lab. she was fuming -- which is an almost rare occurrence, and decided to limit our access in the labs. it turned out that the whole top floor of the chemistry building got flooded over the weekend and the culprit was an actively dripping faucet in our lab, the same lab where we did our usual work. the director of the institute, who is known for his temper, apparently reprimanded our research advisor and in return, she snapped at us (to put it mildly). obviously, no one admitted who left the faucet open. since there was no way to figure out who was responsible, our adviser told us to turn over our keys to that lab. she decided that if we need to access that lab, we have to check out the key from one of her research assistants and log our names in the key logbook. that way, if ever this happens again, whoever was the last one to log out the key would earn her eternal wrath.

case 2: the false radioactive spill. this, i can tell for certain, i am not guilty of. why? (1) i haven't done any experiments with radioactivity for at least four months before this happened, and (2) the spill was not detected in my lab bench. this eventually turned out to be false since we repeated the wipe tests the guys who gave us our licenses and they turned out negative. unfortunately, we didn't have a record of the regular wipe tests for the past two months before the spill was "detected," which the licensors kept reminding us when they first discovered we'd skipped the tests a few months back. because of this, we almost had our licenses revoked. this time, our research advisor picked on one of our lab mates, mainly because he was assigned to do the monthly wipe tests. what's worse, my advisor remembered and reminded him of all of his minor mishaps and shortcomings in the lab prior to this event. that was kind of mean. lesson learned: silent waters run deep. on the other hand, given this particular lab's "colorful" history, this event was probably not as bad as two grad students trying to kill each other.

see, lab life can be a soap opera.

remedies for the reckless

how do treat a flu-like cold that you (kind of) caused yourself when you went on an outdoorsy trip on a very cold rainy day in a place which you naively thought as having nicer weather that time, in which you packed mostly lighter clothes when you came over there for the week? (ahh, don't you just love spring?)

a) take medicine for the cold (check). i'm almost out of that awful-tasting, sleep-inducing med but unfortunately, the cold is still there. so i tried ice cream. it helped..in making me happy

b) get plenty of rest (i tried). if "plenty" means at least 8 hrs, i think i'm doing that pretty well..i presently sleep at 3 or 4am and wake up by noon, or i stay up for 36 hrs and then sleep for 15 hrs straight.

c) get your dose of vitamin C (check). it's mostly from good 'ol OJ. maybe i should take those multivitamin supplements again (sheesh...) or eat more fruits. or both.

d) drink plenty of liquids (check). water, OJ, chocolate milk (at the expense of having the uncomfortable side effect very common to those with biological aversion to cow's milk), tea, soda...even alcohol.

e) exercise (check). i must be daft to even think of swimming 60 25-yd laps, without pausing to catch my breath, despite that my nose is clogged from the cold and all sorts of allergic reactions. but i did it. funny thing is, i couldn't stop..

f) touch therapy (ummm...). this reminds me of a classic TV ad back home about this minty goo moms slather on their kids' throats and chests when they get sick which helps them get well. there's not enough scientific study to back this claim but i believe it works. i know it sounds cheesy but the idea that there is somebody who cares about you so much that she would risk her own health to be with you and do her best to make you well does make you well. i miss my mommy...

i hate being sick and i need to get well pronto. so, yes, i need a hug..and yes, i'm that desperate :P

winter's last hurrah

according to weather reports, a winter storm is coming from the northeast, leaving in its wake about 5-10 inches of snow. when i woke up amidst fuzzy visions of white landscapes and pristine beaches, the said storm hasn't left yet while the snow kept on piling up. seems like the white landscape won. good thing i was able to do my laundry last night because i'm almost out of clean undies.

and i thought the nose itch and countless sneezing every morning were sure, albeit inconvenient, signs of more tolerable weather -- tolerable coming from someone who grew up most of her life near the beach. oh well, i'm going to bed and sleep this one off.

love in the midst of turmoil

the best thing about being an unmarried and childless graduate student in a foreign country is the relatively carefree lifestyle. your schedule can be pretty flexible if you happen to work in a very laid-back environment, which may be a great thing in most cases, or not if you're being pressured to graduate. the pay isn't great but it's not a big deal if you have simple needs. fortunately for me, i work in a very laid-back lab and i have simple needs so i have quite a lot of leisure time, even with overtime work during some weekends, and a relatively decent savings account.

so what do i do with all those spare time and dough? i travel to different cities in different states and i try various activities that i never had the opportunity to do when i was back home. i have friends who share the same interests, which made the adventures even better. i was quite content and life was good.

but, alas! my days of carefree living are being numbered. with the present economic situation, the end of my graduate school stint draws even nearer than i thought. who knows if the advanced degree that i chose to pursue will be useful enough to get a decent job in this country or anywhere else during these hard times? even better, still maintain that carefree lifestyle i so enjoy? sometimes, i just hate being an adult.

and here i am contemplating whether i can afford three more roundtrip tickets to the west coast this year and a possible trip home next summer. too bad my current funds can only pay for the former. if this is what it takes to maintain a long distance relationship, i better switch careers and/or change locations or else i'll be broke and unhappy. that should be enough motivation for me to get off my butt and finish what i came here for, right?

or i can just end the relationship. it seems to be the easier and less expensive option given the circumstances. (un)fortunately for the guy, i don't give up easily on relationships but i can let go when i have to. as of now, i'm not doing that and i'm hoping that i'll never do that. after all, he makes me happy. 

weekend blues

this week went like a blur and i haven't done anything significant, research-wise. how can i when my bioclock is still in PST, such that i start my day in the middle of the day? moreover, i did mostly cleanup work in the lab. when one of my labmates told me the (supposedly) deionized water that we are using for our experiments is actually not pure enough and needs to be autoclaved and filtered again, i have to dump my old buffers and prepare new ones. as with me still in vacation mode, i accidentally dried up my labmate's ion exchange column, which he painstakingly packed in himself for the past three weeks, by not screwing in the plugs on both ends when i removed the said column from the FPLC so i can put in my own column for my own experiments. he must be very upset with me. what a way to begin the new year. speaking of the new year, i didn't really start it off with the right foot. just thinking about it makes me depressed and shamed. oh well, as my labmate would say, things happen.

moving on...it's going to be a long weekend because of the upcoming MLK jr. holiday and the inauguration of the first black president of the usa. great. more vacation time for me just when i'm finally ready to go to work, which i can do if i don't mind having no backup help in case something happens to me while i'm working *knock on wood.* what's more, roommie's out of town for the weekend, there's no school shuttle and it's freezing cold outside..wait, it's below freezing outside. so how am i going to entertain myself?!

1 brave the cold weather and the lateness of the hour by commuting all the way to virginia to go salsa dancing. after all, with the influx of people from everywhere, there'll be lots of parties going on all over the metropolitan area. why virginia? because there is this latin club with a huge dancing space where i can get in for free with their vip card, which i'll (hope to) get for free as well on sunday night. good thing i have someone to go with so i don't look stupid showing up there not knowing anyone. as they say, there is strength in numbers. having a friend with me makes me feel brave.

2 prepare a nice dinner. puffy made me this classic dish from his country when i was in frisco. since i had nothing much to do, i decided to try my hand on making this dish. i bought all the ingredients, even that elusive chubritza (which i got a few weeks back in frisco), and walked from the metro to my apartment (in the freezing weather!) with two bags of groceries. it took me almost two hours to complete it but it was worth the wait. i'm not used to eating main entrees with yogurt - puffy's version didn't include the yogurt crust and side, but it actually gives that tangy taste to the seemingly plain meat and potatoes casserole. too bad i have no one to share it with. at least, this will last me several dinners since i made a lot.

moussaka

3 keep up with the dvd subscription. hmmm, a choice between spirited away and unforgiven? apparently, i haven't moved up with my dvd queue for the last three months. oh well, i'll have the animated movie to go with my dinner please.

4 if all else fails to entertain, do some overtime work. after all, i'm a graduate student. i shouldn't have any social life.

quickie lunch

porkchops

because it's cold outside and i don't feel like walking to the diner across the block. thanks to the absentee negrense for this lunch idea. i think i boiled the porkchops longer than intended such that they didn't really come out as tender and juicy. oh well, i'm the only one eating it so it's all cool..

back to work

the past four days have been a blast, a wrinkle in time. i forgot on those days that i was a graduate student and that i was in a relatively dreary place...well, everything is less dreary compared to graduate school, wherever and whatever you're studying. stuffing yourself silly with a sumptuous thanksgiving dinner, waking up late each day, party-hopping until the wee hours of the morning...who would want to go back to work?

but, alas! everything must come to an end. all that remained of those happy days are a couple of pictures and a multi-colored cap with a rotor -- sort of like the ones that you see in kids' hats. it would be another three weeks before i can have my happy days again. that's quite long!

but for now, i have to come up with a complete independent proposal by the end of this week so i can take it relatively easy for the next two weeks. i wish i can think and write fast enough so i can meet this deadline.